A special note from Valley Humane Society’s President & CEO, Melanie Sadek
This message is a little different from what I usually share. The holidays can be a joyful time filled with celebration, family, and togetherness, but for some this season can be difficult. This year — both here in our Tri-Valley community, and beyond — has brought loss for so many, and I think it is important to acknowledge grief and give it a voice.
Grief doesn’t take a holiday, and it doesn’t come from just one source. It can be the loss of a loved one or a beloved companion animal…a breakup…a retirement…or simply realizing that life looks different than you hoped.
I’m not a grief expert — and I hope I never become one — but working at Valley Humane, I’ve said far too many goodbyes. What I’ve learned is this: if you’re struggling this holiday season, you are not alone.
If it feels right for you, tell your family and friends how you want to talk about your loss. People often avoid the topic not because they don’t care, but because they’re afraid of causing pain. And for some, that silence can feel like a loss on top of a loss. Opening the door — even just a little — can help others know it’s okay to remember and to talk.
I learned this when my husband lost his sister. I used to worry that bringing her up would remind him of something we were trying to move past. But he reminded me that she was always in his thoughts — and knowing that she mattered to others actually helped him heal.
And when my father-in-law passed away in 2021, I was surprised by how comforting it was to hear stories about what he meant to others. There is something profoundly healing about knowing that someone you loved deeply was also loved by others and touched the lives of people around them. Hearing those stories allowed me to create new memories — and in a way, helped keep him alive.
At least for me, I want the companions I’ve lost to matter. They had a place in this world. They filled it with purpose. And it’s hard to watch the world keep moving when your entire world has stopped.
As a society, we often decide for others how much grief is “appropriate” based on the type of loss — and this is especially true when someone loses an animal. Our pets are woven into our daily lives. They give us companionship, purpose, and unconditional love. Saying goodbye is deeply personal, and it can be incredibly painful. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to admit that you’re hurting.
This is personal for me. I lost my dog, Hunter, in February, and I am acutely aware of how deeply that kind of loss can hurt — how quiet a home can suddenly feel, and how grief can appear in unexpected moments. Valley Humane is a safe place if you need comfort. We understand the pain of saying goodbye to an animal, and we’re always willing to offer a hug, a tissue, or a listening ear. And while adopting an animal can help heal a heart — offering comfort, routine, and connection — it’s only right when you are ready. Taking on a pet is a meaningful commitment, and honoring where you are emotionally matters.
For those who have friends or family members who are grieving, don’t be afraid to reach out. A simple message can mean more than you realize. It may bring tears — but tears aren’t always a bad thing. Sometimes, it means everything to know that the person or companion you lost is still remembered.
Talking about grief can bring healing. Suffering in silence often deepens loneliness. My hope is that Valley Humane Society can be a place where people find comfort — through adoption, volunteering, or simply being part of a caring community.
To learn more about Valley Humane, visit our website valleyhumane.org. We’d love to show you our facilities, share volunteer opportunities, or introduce you to your future companion.